Just for you Sab.

[Matrox]

Now i know that people have taken the piss out of you abit over these jokes!!!. However, i thought that i'd post something that really did happen, here in my home town. I like to call it, "Girls Night Out"

Enjoy

Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

[Your_mom]

so this baby seal walks into a club

[Sabarai]

Only iceman did it, the rest didn't succeed as was obvious by my comments... And also this is a joke <.<

[Lucifer]

My first experience skydiving:

I went skydiving a few years back having saved up a few pennies and gotten drunk enough to let someone dare me into it. So I get on this plane for training, and there's these guys. You know, some weird guy from England, a French guy, and a Mexican guy. So we're flying up there and telling rude jokes to one another when the instructor (the English guy, only the english are crazy enough to skydive for fun) tells us that there's been a mixup and there's only one parachute. I figured that was fine because the plane would just land. Then the guy says "God save the Queen!" and jumps out of the plane!

I was quite surprised. Then I noticed that he was also the pilot. So the rest of us look around, and the French guy took a shot at trying to fly and almost crashed us. Finally, he says "Vive la france!" and jumps out himself.

No knowing what else to do, I figured I wanted to use that parachute. So I said "Remember the ALamo" and threw the MExican out.

[Sabarai]

Lucifer almost got it right, but such a thing never happens... 4 nationalities in one p[lane for ski-diving class <.<

[Lucifer]

Lucifer almost got it right, but such a thing never happens... 4 nationalities in one p[lane for ski-diving class <.<

Obviously not an American. I look down my street and see not less than 5 countries represented, and that's just the people I know. There's probly 100 people living on my street...

[Lackadaisical]

Lucifer almost got it right, but such a thing never happens... 4 nationalities in one p[lane for ski-diving class <.<

Obviously not an American. I look down my street and see not less than 5 countries represented, and that's just the people I know. There's probly 100 people living on my street...

Obviously an American. I look down my street and also see not less than 5 countries represented, though i don't see any of them skydiving any time soon.


no i'm not one of those europeans who makes "americans are dumb"- jokes everytime they see an oppertunity, but this one was called for : )

[Lucifer]

Lucifer almost got it right, but such a thing never happens... 4 nationalities in one p[lane for ski-diving class <.<

Obviously not an American. I look down my street and see not less than 5 countries represented, and that's just the people I know. There's probly 100 people living on my street...

Obviously an American. I look down my street and also see not less than 5 countries represented, though i don't see any of them skydiving any time soon.


no i'm not one of those europeans who makes "americans are dumb"- jokes everytime they see an oppertunity, but this one was called for : )

The Dutch are known wusses that would never skydive anyway. Probly why there wasn't one on the plane.

[Sabarai]

Obviously you haven't been here...

Plus, when i'm going to school I see over 10 nationalities represented...

[Tank Program]

There are way more than 10 where I am... Then again, I live in a country where half the population are immigrants .

[LETE]

did you every notice how smart linux actually is? I found my old solaris sistem the other day and was feading it some commands, and I think we've been together too long cuz were starting to understand each other. here's how it went...

% rm political-ethics
rm: political-ethics nonexistent

% ar m God
ar: God does not exist

% "How would you rate Bush's incompetence?
Unmatched ."

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ Bush has spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.

% make love Make:
Don't know how to make love. Stop.

% sleep with me
bad character

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man: : Too many arguments.

% ^What is Windows?
Bad substitute.

% man woman
No manual entry for woman.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% (-
(-: Command not found.

% sh $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink <bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open opener: not found

$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create

[Tank Program]

lmao, those are some good parodies of the *nix shell commands .

[Sabarai]

lol very nice one lete

[olleman]

Haha those commands rule to the power of two!

[Jonathan]

Unfortunately almost none work for me (depends a lot on which shell (note that I tried several shells) and versions).

% (-
(-: Command not found.

Too many ('s.