Worst jokes ever?

[Gonzap]

B) Furthermore, I then try to decipher and properly translate your joke for your benefit and others' (do note that others pointed it out before me), and additionally am sympathetic to the language barrier you encounter, and yet still all I get from you is another snide comment? Ingrate.

Yeah sorry, thanks for your help, even though it was not needed, i was about to explain it myself (even tho i hate explaining jokes). Didn't mean to be ingrate dood. I just find it hard to be nice towards you, I wonder why.

- Mom in school they call me hairy.
- Tom!!! The dog is talking again!!

PS: no more comments without a bad or good joke, this thread is meant for them.

[LucK]

I got one

Who is the best tron player? Not LucK! hahahahahaha some people kill me

[Word]

reading Luck's jokes I remember some jokes about lepers...10 years ago they were probably the only jokes most children knew. I think they were so popular because leper was the N#1 topic back then...
(never liked them, but they're not off topic)
------
What does a leper do on the soccer field?
he fouls

What does a leper do when he sees the woman of his dreams?
He casts his eye at her.

[Olive]

What's the difference between an Ethiopian and German?

100kg

---

What does the warning sign on an elevator in Ethiopia say?
Maximum 400kg or 40 people.

---

A man walks into a bakery.
Man: HAHAHA I ****** your mother.
Baker: Piss off dad, I'm working.

---

durka's predictions

[dreadlord]

durka's predictions

Nice one.

[LoveBug]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died. (sorry PG )

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.

[Word]

now that you're here


closers are noobs

[Phytotron]

reading Luck's jokes I remember some jokes about lepers...10 years ago they were probably the only jokes most children knew. I think they were so popular because leper was the N#1 topic back then...

Wait, what? Is this some German thing I never heard about?

[Word]

seems like it

Our teachers at elementary school were all in their 60s and never told us anything about AIDS or HIV, so I used to think that Africa has lots of Lepers for a long time. And i had the impression the school books we had were last revisited 20 years ago (if one just looks at the clothes on the photos, the hairstyles etc), shortly before AIDS got more attention. I remember that most donation campaigns of that time were organized for the benefit of Africa and showed pictures of lepers. I remember 10 more such jokes which I can't translate but there are probably more than 30.

[saragei]

reading Luck's jokes I remember some jokes about lepers...10 years ago they were probably the only jokes most children knew. I think they were so popular because leper was the N#1 topic back then...
(never liked them, but they're not off topic)(...)

They've been popular more than 20 years ago as well. I guess you just got to enjoy their renaissance as is the way of many jokes over the decades. I think the popularity of leper jokes in Germany derived from the consistent Yellow Press reporting about the work of Mother Teresa, in particular when she received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.

Back on topic:
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!

[Gonzap]

What's an asterisk (*)? A dot (.) disheveled

[Kinda Slow]

TODAY'S STOCK MARKET REPORT

Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remain unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
And Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.

[Kinda Slow]

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

[Puppetman]

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

[Zimblunk]

What's the difference between yogurt and viola music?

One of them is living culture.

What is the difference between a pizza and a musician?

A pizza feeds a family of four.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Oh yeah, that's the one I was trying to remember from KoL! I could only remember the better one:

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel lodged in his pants. The bartender gives the pirate a weird look and asks, "Doesn't that feel uncomfortable?" The pirate responds, "Yarrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"