Worst jokes ever?

[Misery]

What do you call a constipated German?


















Farfrompoopin'.

[dreadlord]

This joke wins the competition.

[syllabear]

2 of the 3 world's superpowers are communist

Japan is communist?

It's fairly hard to classify USSR a superpower anymore as they don't officially exist, unless you mean Russia, in which case they aren't communist.

Of course you could be talking about any of the 4 other official communist states but I doubt it

Communism is an interesting discussion and one I hope doesn't invade one of my current favourite topics of the forums at present, keep it up guys!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FopcSCM ... re=related

that guys the king of bad jokes

[INW]

You’re in a room with a tiger, a poisonous snake and a Nazi, you have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
Shoot the Nazi....twice.

I didn't make that one up if anyone is wondering.

[sinewav]

It's fairly hard to classify USSR a superpower anymore as they don't officially exist, unless you mean Russia, in which case they aren't communist.

Oh I see, a federation then, thanks for clarifying. I know the communist party still exists in Russia and was overreaching my analogy I guess. But the point is still made clearly. People, especially residents of the USA, who mock communism as a political system just highlight their ignorance. Related: I have one friend I continually frustrate every time he pulls the whole "Obama is a socialist" nonsense. I always ask, "so, what's wrong with socialism again?" He gets mad and goes silent because he doesn't know why he believes that. But even after several opportunities to educate himself, he still spouts off that "go freedom" BS.

Ok, this is seriously going in the wrong direction. More bad Jokes please. Wait, no. Can we put some good ones in here to break it up?

[Clutch]

What do you call an asian with down syndrome?

Sumting Wong

[Word]

While I agree that INW's "joke" is ignorant I think that China and Russia don't have such powerful economies because of their political ideology. China is probably one of the most capitalist countries today and the reasons for their strength is just that they have masses of diligent workers and their carelessness regarding working conditions and human rights. And of course such powerful countries open up dangers and chances. That's why it's so difficult for our western culture to stay as independent as possible.

the best joke ever

[Clutch]

the best joke ever

Ahaha my grandpa told me that one when I was younger once. Now I know where he got it from haha.

Also, is the bartender cheech?

[Phytotron]

China is probably one of the most capitalist countries today and the reasons for their strength is just that they have masses of repressed, abused and exploited workers and their unregulated, anarchic working conditions and a hostile absence of human rights, and fallaciously-named "free trade" deals such as the WTO and PNTR that not only don't prohibit these policies, but passively, if not actively engender them. They also manipulate their currency.

Fixed.


And, yeah, the current economic situation in Russia is more reminiscent of the US's Gilded Age (the first one, not the second one we're in the midst of presently).

[mini-rant] And not only isn't Obama a socialist, he's hardly even a Democrat. The whole political spectrum, the "goal posts," in the US has shifted heavily to the right over the last 30 years, and made a remarkably strong lurch in just the past couple years. Democrats are proposing bills that the Republicans were advancing in just the last decade (e.g., so-called "Obamacare" was originally a Republican plan; and they're now proposing a budget deal that is in line with one put out by the AEI—one that was dismissed a year ago as even extreme for that right-wing think tank); and Republicans are advancing an ideology and agenda that they wouldn't even have considered uttering back when they controlled the Presidency and both branches of Congress, for being too extreme. Thanks, Tea Party and spineless "Democrats"! You'll turn our country into a corporatist, theocratic fiefdom yet! [/mini-rant]

*****

Hmmph, Tarantino is a joke. Hack. Hack. Hack.

Oh, bad jokes. Hmm, a few classics, perhaps....

So, this guy goes into see his doctor and says, "doc, it hurts when I go like this [cocks shoulder]." Doc says, "so don't do that."

So, this guy goes into see a psychiatrist and says, "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." The shrink says, "your problem is you're too tents."

So, a duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barkeep asks, "will you be paying cash?" The duck says, "no, just put it on my bill."

wocka wocka wocka!

[Z-Man]

So, this guy goes into see a psychiatrist and says, "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." The shrink says, "your problem is you're two tents."

Spelling consistency fixed. Though it only works if you read it out loud anyway.

[Phytotron]

Yeah, like half the jokes in this thread. I spelt it that way deliberately. Thanks, bud.

[LucK]

Heard this one awhile ago.

A redneck teacher decides to give her class a small pop quiz around Halloween.

"Okay, how many of you have seen a ghost?"About 30% of the class puts their hand up.

"Okay, how many of you have actually touched a ghost?" About 10% of the class puts their hand up.

"Okay, how many of you have had sex with a ghost?"Dead silence, until a little redneck boy in the back row puts up his hand.

"You've actually had sex with a ghost?"

"Ghost? Oh. I thought you said goat!"

[Gonzap]

That's probably why you haven't gotten some of these jokes, Gonzap.

Yes, but your attempt of explaining yours failed. Also explaining a joke sucks. Also yes it was daily bread, I couldn't think of a good translation.

So a good joke (I think it's funny), I told this one in game and some liked it, here it goes. (Sorry for the bad english)

It's Moises, Jesus and an old man playing golf. Moises starts, he hits the ball and it falls into a lake. Then he open (divides, break through?) the water hit the ball and scores. It's Jesus's turn, so he hits the ball and it falls into the lake too. No problem for him because he walks over the water hits the ball and scores.

Then it's the old man's turn, he hits the ball... when it's about to fall into the lake a big fish jumps over and eats the ball. When it's about to touch the water a gull catches the fish and fly away. Then a stormy cloud appears from nowhere and a lighting hits the gull which falls to the ground with the fish. The fish cough up the ball and it slowly ends up inside the hole...

Then Jesus says: "Daddy, if you'll start playing like this, I'M OFF"

[Phytotron]

That's probably why you haven't gotten some of these jokes, Gonzap.

Yes, but your attempt of explaining yours failed. Also explaining a joke sucks. Also yes it was daily bread, I couldn't think of a good translation.

A) I didn't explain any of the jokes I posted. At most I simply relayed the bad jokes from a short film. They were visual jokes. How else do you expect I convey them? (If it were on youtube I would've just posted it, but alas....)

I'm sorry you have difficulty with translation, but maybe you should consider making sure you know what someone has actually said before popping off at the mouth for no goddamned reason.

B) Furthermore, I then try to decipher and properly translate your joke for your benefit and others' (do note that others pointed it out before me), and additionally am sympathetic to the language barrier you encounter, and yet still all I get from you is another snide comment? Ingrate.

[chah]

What did the deaf paraplegic boy with HIV and one arm get for his 10th birthday?



Cancer.

okokok now cute joke <3

Why do bunnies have soft sex?

they have cotton ballz awwwww!!!!!