Hell explained

[Titanoboa]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

"Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

"This gives two possibilities:

"1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

"2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

"So which is it?

"If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct – leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being. Which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'"


This student received an A+.


Apparently this is an OLD joke, having been around since at least the early 70's; one man in some comments section remembered the girl's name being Prudence back then. Of course, the introduction mentioning the internet is completely made up. But I read this today for the first time so, chances are, not all of you have stumbled upon it yet either. Thought I'd share. Personally I think he's jumping to conclusions too much, but it was still an amusing read.
For you oldies: around what year did you hear it for the first time?

[Light]

lol Was that real? Also, now .. are we going to see huge ass replies debating religions / deities?

[ConVicT]

Light, read the small print

[Light]

Light, read the small print

I saw it said it was an actual student's answer, but it sounds like a copy/paste from somewhere rather than him actually talking about it. Him being Titan.

[Titanoboa]

It is indeed copied from the internet, I only changed some punctuation.

[Light]

It is indeed copied from the internet, I only changed some punctuation.

Either way, entertaining. I was just hoping to have a confirmation of it being real.

[Titanoboa]

Well it originated from somewhere, and I find it pretty likely that it was indeed a chemistry student who came up with it. However it is not very likely at all that it was a student who was told "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" by a girl in freshman year whom he managed to hook up with just the night before a test where this question came up, and that she in addition incidentally "kept shouting 'Oh my God'" (which completes the punchline). It's very likely that it's fabricated. And, of course, the premises are all constructed to set up the punchline. But it's done well. Still, a part of me hopes that it's all true


So, this question remains: Was this joke fabricated by a student who then applied it to an exam when the question came up, or was the whole thing made up (by a student, or anyone else really, with the knowledge required)? Seems more likely that it was all made up.

[Light]

So, this question remains: Was this joke fabricated by a student who then applied it to an exam when the question came up, or was the whole thing made up (by a student, or anyone else really, with the knowledge required)? Seems more likely that it was all made up.

That's what I was wondering. I assumed the story was made up just to entertain. Would just be funnier if it was really submitted by a student to the teacher.

[Vogue]

I completely believe Titan isn't really religious and is just trolling everyone by pretending to be a religious fool.

Yeah I went offtopic, sue me.

[bilbo baggins]

I completely believe Titan isn't really religious and is just trolling everyone by pretending to be a religious fool.

Yeah I went offtopic, sue me.

/me sues

i really hope this was a submitted answer, if it was the student who submitted it is probably one of the worlds leading comedian/running a country, lets just ask all people in these catorgories and we should find our answer.

[takburger]

mother of a repost... That internet story is so old !!!!

[Phytotron]

Yeah, I remember that circulating AOL circa 1997, heh. I think I might even have it saved on my old iMac hard drive.

[woof]

I completely believe Titan isn't really religious and is just trolling everyone by pretending to be a religious fool.

Nothing foolish about being religious

[sinewav]

Nothing foolish about being religious

Actually...

[Light]

Nothing foolish about being religious

Actually...

I wouldn't go so far as to say he's a fool, even though I've heard it from religious people so many damn times, "a fool knows in his heart there is no god". Being indoctrinated as a child is really effective in causing blind belief. Hell, it wasn't until I was 17 I finally realized that I can't justify believing in it anymore, though there was a bit of time before that / around that time of trying to find out what's more likely true and finding evidence to support my beliefs. Funny how getting more religious and reading into it more causes so many to disbelieve.

Of course, I've instantly become a Satan worshipper. Not quite sure how that one works. lol