As it is my general desire to express myself briefly through the subject title, I think you can guess what this is going to be about

Yes. I've finally decoded the Javascript and recoded it in PHP. I don't know if anyone thought it was possible (I didn't think it would be). It took me a day to fully understand the script written in Javascript and then another day to find out as much as I could about the commands that I needed to accomplish what I had in mind.
Finally, after taking a few hours rest and a few hours of university studying, I have completed a version that I have tested and can tell you all that it works!
I've attached it to this post. So I hope people will find it useful.

UPDATE: 14 - 02 - 2013
Script is now located here: https://code.launchpad.net/~zodiacsohma ... ap_preview