Worst jokes ever?

[Mkay1]

TODAY'S STOCK MARKET REPORT

Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remain unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
And Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.

Too clever to be a bad joke. I like it.

[INW]

TODAY'S STOCK MARKET REPORT

Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remain unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
And Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.

Too clever to be a bad joke. I like it.

Absolutely genius Mr. Brad James!?

[Mkay1]

I guessed that.

[syllabear]

Q: Anyone know any good jokes about sodium?

A: Na

[LoveBug]

I went down the local supermarket

I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it".

The assistant said "Those are pickled onions sir!".

[FoFo]

worst joke ever i didnt see that topic lol

A man goes to see the doctor
- doctor i lost my memory
- oh rly? when did that happen?
- hmm what are you talking about ?

ofc in french its better but as the topic is called "worst" jokes ever , i dont feel ashamed